I remember my struggle to keep a diary my middle school and highschool years.  Almost every entry came a month after the last and it began this way, "It's been so long..."  After rereading the entries of "it being so long.." I just gave up reading whatever else came after it.  I still have the diary. 

Samuel and David were both called early into service, both were boys but neither immediately became prophet or king until much later, after they learned to battle the small battles of personal growth, struggles and in the case of David, a hater-father-in-law by the name of Saul. 

People have been asking me what I've been doing since graduation a year ago.  I suspect they are slightly envious of the adventures I've been on that they ask why I am not working yet.  Blessed and supported by my parents, I've been to Taiwan as an English teacher, Colorado as an intern and student, worked as a temp in a cement company, visited friends in Miami, and served as leader in a ministry.  Really, looking back at all this, I am happy to say that none of my journal entries have started in the repetitious "It's been so long..." 

Instead, it's been filled with joys and tears of where I've been, what I'm doing, and where I will be.  My sister tells me it's be best time of my life.  It's true, filled with adventure and suspense, knowing and yet not-knowing what God has next for me to do. 

For the sake of my interest in marraige/pre-engagement counseling, I found the following questionnaire list.  It's more thorough than the "what I like to eat," "what I do for fun" lists that go around xanga, but I hope that it can provide as a window for couples or potential couples that are dreading that DTR moment.  Maybe it'll open for better DTRs.

PURPOSE
My biggest goal in life is to…
I find satisfaction in…
Before I die I want to…
I am here because…
My dream is to someday…
I will be ready to die when I’ve…

PAST
The best part about my childhood was…
The worst part about my childhood was…
The scariest thing that ever happened to me was…
Something I’m afraid to tell anyone about my past is…
A past situation that could affect my future is…
I’ve had [ ] sexual partners before this relationship.
The way I feel about my past relationship history is…

WHO I AM
My biggest fears in life are…
My biggest needs in life are…
My most frequent mood is…
The thing I hate most is…
The thing I worry about most is…
Three things I want to change about myself are…
Three things I really like about myself are…
My most common daydream is…
I get angry when…
My favorite kind of house pet is…
My overall opinion about myself is…
I think my greatest personality asset is…
My greatest personality weakness is…
I find the greatest enjoyment in…
The sin I struggle most with is…
I’m most ashamed about…
Someone I greatly admire is…
The way I feel about death is…
I think war is…
I feel happy when…
I have no use for people who…
When someone acts rude to me, I…
When someone is unfair, I…
I feel jealous of…
My dream vacation would include…
The things I find the most fun are…
My favorite sport(s) is…
Playing sports in my future is a [ ] on a scale from one to ten.
Watching sports on T.V. is a [ ] for me on a scale from one to ten.
I am disgusted by…
When I am afraid (substitute sad, angry, happy, lonely, tired), I…
My hobbies include…
I spend [ ] hours a week at my hobbies.
What I really want when I am sick is…
The part of my body I am most bothered by is…
The part of my body I am most happy with is…
What hurts me most is…
The best (and worst) thing about life is…
The first thing I notice about someone is…
When someone is angry with me, I…
When someone is disappointed in me, I…
The worst (and best) thing about the opposite sex is…
Being teachable means…
People (including me) should say they’re sorry when…

MARRIAGE
My reasons for wanting to get married are…
I think the keys to a good marriage are…
The biggest mistakes I made in past relationships are…
The area I’ve grown the most in relationships is…
Relationships in the past have taught me…
I’ve always viewed marriage as…
My parents had a [ ] marriage.
I learned [ ] about marriage from my parents.
I think the things in marriage you should be honest about are…
The areas I’m concerned about being married are…
The areas I’m excited about being married are…
Marriage for me will be giving up…
Marriage for me will be gaining…
I think separate vacations are…
Traveling together is…
When having conflict, I like to: cool off by myself before discussing the problem; discuss and work the problem out right away; pretend there is no problem and just move on; analyze the problem as to what it is, why it happened, how to avoid it in the future, etc…
Arguing and or fighting is…
The best way to handle disagreements is to…
What I fear most about marriage is…
What I anticipate most about marriage is…
The role of in-laws in marriage is…
The thing that will make me most secure (and insecure) in marriage is…
Dating (each other) after you are married is…
Love is…
“Till death do us part” means…
I think people should be allowed to divorce when…
For me, divorce is…

SEX
I think sex is/will be…
I think a healthy marriage involves sex [ ] per week or [ ] per month.
I’m aware that real sex in marriage differs from Hollywood in the following ways…
I think being naked in front of someone is…
On a scale from one to ten, sex is a [ ] in importance in a good marriage for me.
What sex means to me is…
Talking about sex feels…
Being spontaneous or creative in marriage sex sounds…

MONEY/FINANCES
I think money is…
Spending money is hard/easy for me because…
The biggest waste of money is…
The best investment of money is…
I have [ ] in personal debt.
I use credit cards for…
I think car loans are…
Saving up to buy big ticket items is…
My savings plan is…
My retirement plan is…
The way I feel about tithing is…
I hope my spouse is a: saver, spender, somewhere in between.
On a scale from one to ten, financial security is [ ] in importance to me.
I want to save up to buy a…
The kind of house I want to own someday is…
Other items I hope to own are…
Charities I want to contribute to are…

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Is my own appearance important to me?
Is it important that my spouse maintains his/her current physical appearance/weight throughout our marriage?
How important is hygiene to me, i.e. brushing teeth, taking showers, deodorant, etc.?
How do I like to dress for special occasions? For church? For dates? For work?
Do I want to be able to have a say in my spouse’s choice of clothing, hairstyle, or general appearance?
Do I care if they have a say in mine?
Is cologne/perfume important to me?
What physical features are attractive to me?

HOUSEHOLD
How clean is a home that is comfortable for me?
What is my favorite thing about home?
What can I not tolerate in my home (noise, clutter, dirt, pets, unmade beds, etc.)?
How many/which jobs do I think I should do to keep my house maintained?
How many/which jobs do I think my spouse should do around the house?
Who should keep the yard maintained (spouse, both, or hired out)?
Who will maintain the cars (spouse, both, or hired out)?
Who will make decisions for and carry out decorating the home (spouse, both, hired out)?
Who will cook family meals?
How many meals do I expect to cook or for my spouse to cook daily?
Who will do the shopping?
Who will do laundry?
Who will do the dishes?
Who will pay bills?

RECREATION
My idea of recreation is…
To me, camping means…
My favorite sports are…
The way I relax on the weekends is by…
What areas of recreation do I want my spouse to accompany me on?
What areas of recreation do I want to do with my friends or alone?
How often will I want to spend time away from the family in my own recreation?

KIDS
I think kids are…
Kids get on my nerves when they…
I love it when kids…
The way I feel about other people’s kids is…
The way kids usually feel about me is…
Kids should be disciplined when…
The way I want to discipline my kids is…
The role of a parent is…
I want [ ] kids someday.
How important is showing physical affection to my kids?
Is telling my kids I love them important?
How much time do I think I should spend with my kids daily?
How important is two-parent interaction and discipline?
I think the bottom line for discipline should be with the (mom or dad)?
How important is it for kids to respect their parents in my home?
When it comes to discipline, I think I will be: lenient, strict, or somewhere in-between?
Where do I want my kids educated (private school, Christian school, home school, etc.)?

HEALTH/HISTORY
Taking care of myself and my health is [ ] important to me.
I think a healthy lifestyle includes…
Physical exercise is…
To me, eating right means…
My idea of a good work out is…
My life fitness plan is to…
My health problems (present or past) are…
I take medication for…
I think life long-term supports are…
People in my family have a history of the following health problems…
People in my family have died at the ages of…

INTIMACY
I feel loved when…
The way I show love to people is…
Which of the following are ways I feel most loved? Time spent with, words of encouragement/praise, gifts, being touched and hugged in a non-sexual manner, when people do things for (serve) me.
Showing affection in front of kids or friends is…
Intimacy is developed through…
I think a good marriage needs at least [ ] hours a day (or week) of focused communication to stay connected.

WORK
My idea of a dream job is…
I think the average number of hours a person can regularly work a week and maintain family commitment is…
Providing for the family is whose responsibility?
My career plans are…
How important is a steady job to me?
What kind of work ethic do I want in my mate?
Where do I draw the line with a job that demands too much time?
My plans for retirement are…

SPIRITUALITY/RELIGION
The way I feel about God is…
I think the way God feels about me is…
On a scale of one to ten, going to church is [ ] in importance for my life and future.
I want to raise my kids in the [ ] faith.
Will God be the center of my home? Why or why not?
If yes, how will I make Him the center?
Prayer is something I do when…
To me, the Bible is…
Other religions besides Christianity are…
Eternal life is accomplished by…
Select and discuss the following. To me, God is: personal, real, distant, vague, angry, happy, loving, harsh, demanding, gentle, kind, good, make-believe, living, powerful, weak, or other.
The way to have a relationship with God is…
For me, including God in my daily life is…
On a scale from one to ten, obeying God and His word is a [ ] to me.
When I die, I…

**courtesy of http://www.cbn.com/family/marriage/ferwerda-before-I-do.aspx 

i've been thinking up creative ways to make chinese food just as delicious but with half the calories.  so instead of a who ladle full of oil for vegetables, i used a teaspoon for dinner tonight.  it turned out super-dry.  it reminded me of the dried pork wrapped in sticky-rice from china/taiwan/hongkong.

my mom's really into beans.  she's read many-a articles on the health benefits of eating beans--from making us smarter, to having darker, thicker hair, to having a better memory...We've had a leftover bowl of boiled beans for 2 weeks now.  i thought it'd be fun to make my own "baked" beans so after dumping the bowl of beans into the pot, i dropped two slabs of butter, a spoon of honey, some white sugar, a few shakes of curry, and a long piece of brown "brick" sugar in a pot.  it sat on the stove.  i realized afterwardsit reminded me more of "tong shui" than anything else, so my first attempts for "homemade-stove-top-baked-beans" turned into sweet 15-bean sugar water.  the creative juices just keep flowing.  i don't know how to make it stop

It's been a good six months since my last update and though I can only spectulate who all will read these words, I wanted to drop by on xangaland to say that the Lord is good and I am doing well--really well.  It surprises me how God puts people, events, and situations altogether to create a plan that at first glance seems to be nothing more than a blurry blob, but on closer observation actually makes sense. 

I had an English teacher who once told us to describe our assignment in the form of a dish/food.  At that time, I thought he was trying to be creative, and he well might have been, but I have since wondered if there was more to it than that, so in my attempts to identify to you who are reading this at focusonthefamilyinstitute, I will leave you with...jiao zi--or dumplings. 

It seems plain enough--a soft flour wrapped in an uncomplicated design.  that's what it's like for me out here.  on the outside, it looks plain--me attending a college/program for a semester, but it is the inside of the dumpling, the hearty meat and vegetable texture that the Lord is working on. 

My dad is an amazing, amazing chef.  You can smell the food he prepares before you even enter my house.  He cooks with passion and confidence, knowing full well what needs to be added to a dish before he even has to taste it.  He sprinkles some salt, shakes the pepper, folds in the ginger, drops some sesame oil, and rubs flour in the meat mixture and does an incredible job at calling the family to the dining table with just the aroma itself. 

That is what God's doing with me here.  I am the meat.  Lol.  I AM THE MEAT.  Can you just imagine me saying that?  Sure, on the outside I look the same, minus my hair being a little longer and the curls falling out, but on the inside, the Lord is just showing me things, and convicting me of being obedient to Him.  As McDonald's billion dollar commercials resonate with me, I will let it resonate with you...'i'm lovin' it.'  I came out here being a little more than pork or beef, and the Lord has blessed me by adding seasoning to my walk with Him, inspiring me to be a bigger, stronger, more confident in who I am.   

i have an inkling where the Lord will take me in the long run, but in the short run, i'm just so grateful to say that it is well. 

i want to leave this message with a verse and i find myself torn at which one to leave you with, they're all so wonderful--but I will leave you with this...

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."  Genesis 1:1 

Spring 2006

What I like most about the trains in Hong Kong is hearing the voice-over intercom breathe, "the next stop is Kowloon" or the next stop is "Fanling." 

I'm so excited about this summer.  Graduation May 14th.  Everyone who reads this should come take pictures with me that day! 

Speaking of pictures...

 Alpha Epsilon Omega

Chrisitan Sorority, Inc.

Spring 2006 Initiates

Jon & Nkem cheesin' it for the new ladies.

a wedding story

once upon a time, there was a little girl who wanted to be a pharmacist.  there was a little boy who wanted to be an engineer.  the girl grew up to be a lovely, "every-mommy-is-like-you" woman.  the boy grew up to be a delicious icing maker for AO Christmas Party gingerbread houses.  they fell in looovee with a capital "L."  They got engaged last winter and are getting married this december at perhaps the most beautiful spot that I've seen...the beautiful washingtondukeinn.com.        

ou-la-la